Guard your marriage

After visiting the Anglican ministry wives conference yesterday, I was again encouraged by God to invest time in my marriage with Craig.

It's a busy world, and kids can run circles around you, but making the time to connect well with my husband is on the top of my list right now.

I know marriages fall apart, and I don't want ours to be one of them. The pain, the loneliness, the loss of dreams. It hurts me just imagining what life would be like as a divorcee. And my soul is tugged when I think about those in my life who have had marriage breakdowns and in essence, the loss of a best friend.

Phillip Jensen puts it this way in Guidance and the Voice of God:

Sin destroys happiness; it destroys relationships; it deprives us of our freedom. The non-Christian world, enslaved as it is to sin, is full of broken lives and unhappiness.

I agree with Phillip, but I also think he would agree with me that as Christians, we can foolishly embrace the same sin which is evident in the non-Christian. The same vices can overcome us. At the conference, it became even more real that this disconnection between marriage partners isn't reserved for those without Christ in their hearts. For sin transpires into the church, and even into those who God has called to be full-time ministers of his love. It made me sad hearing about the pastor's wives who are struggling to maintain love for their husbands. And God showed me again that I am not immune to sin. My marriage could fail. I could end up separated.

To be fearful of what may come about in the future is foolish. And the fear could prevent me from doing what God calls for me to do right now. Which is to continue focusing my energies on encouraging my husband towards God. As a pastor's wife, I think Satan would have his sights set out in particular for those in the ministry. For if he can disorient the shepherd then the sheep will scatter. Craig and I have to pray God's hand over our marriage and the marriages of all Pastors. We have to be vigilant in our support of eachother. Because failed relationships is what Satan wants, and misery is his domain.

The speaker explained that in marriage, we sharpen our rough edges off eachother. Which is often why marriage can be so painful. God has placed us in our marriages to refine our characters. To strengthen us in Him and make us more pure in heart. Essentially, to make us more like our Saviour, Christ.

Seven and a bit years into our marriage, I see that God hasn't stopped working on our hearts. Our defences are coming down and we're more open to accept that we are faulted. Maybe what Craig says is right about me? Maybe I should pray about how my attitude towards him when we 'heatedly discuss' issues.

Whatever God has in store for my future, I pray that it'll be alongside Craig. With him still my hero and me as his cherished bride.

Glimpses of a life once known well.

Tonight, Craig and I enjoyed a rare night out alone.

Sure, it was just a movie, Subway and a coffee, but to me, that spells bliss and romance.

I think when we first got engaged, this is how I imagined our entire existence as a couple would be. Nights out and about, dinners with friends. City adventures. Things like that.

And for a lot of our relationship, we've had that together. And it's been liberating and enjoyable and refreshing.

Now that we're in baby-making mode (see exhibit A), our time together and out as a couple has changed hugely.

Thankfully, we've been able to adapt so far to accept the loss of freedoms. Our adventures are much more localised, though still fun to the same degree, and our friends have had to adapt to the changes, too. Not everyone wants to sit around on our lounge all night/day and call it an "outing". But I can put into perspective this stage of life and see that, whilst limiting, is also just another season in the ebb and flow of our existence.

I have to remember that as long as Craig and I are still maintaining a relationship, it doesn't really matter what setting we're a part of. We can be at home having some nice chitchats or at a fancy restaurant looking over the harbour, but essentially, we just have to talk and listen.

If we can do both of those things, God will continue to enrich our relationship together.

So, tonight, under a starless sky, i looked over at my husband. A man who amazes me everyday. He can preach God's helpful words to teenagers and yet still find the headspace to answer my convoluted doctrinal questions at night. He can wake up in the morning with energy out of sheer will to entertain our beloved daughter while I get some chores done, and then go on to spend the rest of his day and night trying to be helpful to people in their friendship with our Lord.

I'm totally in love with him still, and with this new parenting stage of life, I see further into the depths of his character and my breath is taken away all over again. I am very blessed to have him as my husband, and as he grows in love to God, I reap the benefits of God moulding his mind and heart.