It's a busy world, and kids can run circles around you, but making the time to connect well with my husband is on the top of my list right now.
I know marriages fall apart, and I don't want ours to be one of them. The pain, the loneliness, the loss of dreams. It hurts me just imagining what life would be like as a divorcee. And my soul is tugged when I think about those in my life who have had marriage breakdowns and in essence, the loss of a best friend.
Phillip Jensen puts it this way in Guidance and the Voice of God:
Sin destroys happiness; it destroys relationships; it deprives us of our freedom. The non-Christian world, enslaved as it is to sin, is full of broken lives and unhappiness.
I agree with Phillip, but I also think he would agree with me that as Christians, we can foolishly embrace the same sin which is evident in the non-Christian. The same vices can overcome us. At the conference, it became even more real that this disconnection between marriage partners isn't reserved for those without Christ in their hearts. For sin transpires into the church, and even into those who God has called to be full-time ministers of his love. It made me sad hearing about the pastor's wives who are struggling to maintain love for their husbands. And God showed me again that I am not immune to sin. My marriage could fail. I could end up separated.
To be fearful of what may come about in the future is foolish. And the fear could prevent me from doing what God calls for me to do right now. Which is to continue focusing my energies on encouraging my husband towards God. As a pastor's wife, I think Satan would have his sights set out in particular for those in the ministry. For if he can disorient the shepherd then the sheep will scatter. Craig and I have to pray God's hand over our marriage and the marriages of all Pastors. We have to be vigilant in our support of eachother. Because failed relationships is what Satan wants, and misery is his domain.
The speaker explained that in marriage, we sharpen our rough edges off eachother. Which is often why marriage can be so painful. God has placed us in our marriages to refine our characters. To strengthen us in Him and make us more pure in heart. Essentially, to make us more like our Saviour, Christ.
Seven and a bit years into our marriage, I see that God hasn't stopped working on our hearts. Our defences are coming down and we're more open to accept that we are faulted. Maybe what Craig says is right about me? Maybe I should pray about how my attitude towards him when we 'heatedly discuss' issues.
Whatever God has in store for my future, I pray that it'll be alongside Craig. With him still my hero and me as his cherished bride.
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